louisa may today

My name is Louisa. This is what I did today.

Tonight in Seattle marks six nights before I leave this city for the east coast. I went to the Paramount Theatre to see Lauryn Hill with a group of women who have made the Pacific Northwest feel like home to me for the past three years. Everything was everything. 

Today in Seattle I will sit on the edge of my seat and watch USA play Belgium in Brazil. My husband has been growing a red, prickly beard over the duration of the World Cup. He believes that it is his Irish follicles that are the true reason behind America’s astonishing advancement throughout the series.

If USA loses today, he will shave.

If USA wins, I will lose. 

Today in Seattle I patroned a Korean Day Spa with my friend Courtney, who was recently betrothed to my boss. We removed all clothing as the aestheticians removed our dead skin. Courtney took out her contact lenses as we entered saunas, feeling her way around the various pools and people.

I’m yet to be promoted. 

Today in Seattle I ran for the first time, the very first time, for a good cause. The 15th Annual Seattle Animal Shelter Furry 5K Fun Run raises money for shelter pets, big and small.

When a basset hound overtakes you at the finish line, you need to reevaluate your cardiovascular health.

Last night in Seattle I sat with a crowd of hushed Godzilla fans as the lights came on in the cinema, and the screen was paused. A woman in the front row was having what seemed to be a heart attack. 

As the EMT guys came in, I kept my 3D glasses on. It was all so real.

Today in New York City I watched a man tap-dance until two in the morning and then called it a night.

Today in Seattle my colleague announced that she was pregnant. I am still trying to conceive how I can make this about me.

Today in Seattle I googled pictures of flower crowns for wedding hair inspiration and then I saw photos from Coachella and now I hate myself.

Today in Seattle my father met my husband for the first time, despite us eloping 22 months ago.

I’m never getting married again.

Today in Seattle I celebrated April Fools Day by photoshopping my name onto an ultrasound scan of twin boys. 

Tomorrow in Seattle my husband will be filing for divorce.